For as long as I can remember, anxiety has been part of my life. It was there in childhood, shaping how I approached people, decisions, and even dreams. Back then, I thought it was simply part of who I was, something I had to work around rather than work through. But over the years, I learned that anxiety does not have to be the main thing people see when they look at you. It can be managed, even while living a full and thriving life.
In my younger years, anxiety often made me shy and hesitant. I avoided drawing attention to myself. I was comfortable staying in the background, letting others take the lead. But life has a way of pushing us into situations where hiding is no longer an option. For me, that first push came when I began working at my father’s Kirby vacuum store. I expected to keep my head down, but soon I found myself interacting with customers. I learned that I could talk to people, answer questions, and even sell a product. That small step started to show me that anxiety did not have to control every part of my life.
The second push came when my husband, Lee J., joined the Air Force. Military life meant moving away from everything familiar. It meant meeting new people, finding my way in unfamiliar places, and handling things on my own when he was away. At first, my anxiety made those changes seem overwhelming. But each time I faced a new challenge, I discovered I could adapt. The shy Sandy of my teenage years was learning to make room for a more confident Alexandra.
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that anxiety is often loudest in the beginning. When you start something new, the fear of what might happen can be overwhelming. But if you push through those first moments, the fear often quiets down. I experienced this again when we bought The Window Gallery. Running a business was completely new to me, and my anxiety immediately told me I could not do it. But I reminded myself of other times I had succeeded despite my doubts.
Over time, I developed a few personal tools for managing anxiety. First, I learned to focus on what I could control. Instead of worrying about every possible outcome, I concentrated on the next step in front of me. Second, I practiced breaking big challenges into smaller tasks. This made them feel less overwhelming and gave me a sense of progress. Third, I reminded myself that mistakes are not failures but are opportunities to learn. This mindset made it easier to try new things without letting fear hold me back.
Support from others also mattered. Lee J. believed in me even when I doubted myself. He encouraged me to take chances and reminded me of my successes when I felt unsure. Having someone in your corner can make a big difference when you are trying to manage anxiety.
Today, I can say that anxiety is still part of my life, but it no longer defines me. I can walk into a new situation and know I have the tools to handle it. I can speak up for myself and trust my judgment. I can thrive, not just survive.
If you have ever felt held back by anxiety, know this: it is not all of who you are. You can learn to manage it, to quiet it, and to live fully in spite of it. The journey takes patience, practice, and self-compassion, but it is worth it.
To learn how I learned to live fully while dealing with lifelong anxiety, please read my book “Releasing Alexandra,” in which Sandra and I, along with my husband, Lee J. Everitt, shared our life journey of discovering a part of myself that still shines brightly.
Head to Amazon to purchase your copy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967109621.
